Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling
In my work with couples, I tend to follow the basic principles of Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), one of the most heavily researched and validated therapeutic approaches to addressing relationship concerns. A primary focus in EFCT is emotional expression within the context of attachment relationships.
Emotions are connected to our most basic human needs and serve important adaptive functions. They alert us to situations relevant to our survival. When healthy emotions are given room for experience and expression, they help us navigate difficult life problems and fulfill interpersonal needs. Soft emotions of vulnerability, for example, signal our need for connection, support, and nurturance, while emotions such as anger help us establish protective boundaries when we feel threatened or need interpersonal space. In healthy relationships, couples are able to listen to one another and feel validated and supported. Partners are able to experience vulnerability with one another and respond to such vulnerability with empathy and concern. Unfortunately, couples can get emotionally stuck in vicious cycles where one or both partners' interpersonal needs go unheard and unmet. When I work with couples, I try to help them identify, experience, and explore emotions within themselves and each other. Within the safe environment of the therapy room, couples work together to undo maladaptive patterns of communication that keep them stuck and from achieving their relationship goals.
Greenberg, L.S. & Johnson, S. M. (1988). Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples. Guilford Press: New York.